Sext Etiquette Tips for Success

Observing sext etiquette can make the difference between success or failure. Yes, there are some obvious dos and don’ts in swapping sext messages. There are certain rules to follow. They aren’t a written body of regulations but rather a matter of basic social skills. It seems like sexting would be fairly cut and dry, so to speak but all too often people are turned away by not following some simple guidelines to make sure their sexting partner isn’t put off or scared away.

Let’s start our discussion of sext etiquette by defining the word ‘Etiquette’. The formal definition is, “The customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.” We are a group of people who enjoy sexting and are looking for people to exchange sext messages. This type of group may be one of the most important groups to abide by etiquette. There are personal and potentially sensitive topics that may arise when sexting someone. You have to keep in mind that people have boundaries. There are triggers. Try not to make people feel uncomfortable and safeguard their privacy.

Sext Etiquette Basic Guidelines

1. Don’t send dick pics right off the bat. Women will most likely turn you away for being too forward. Ask permission and make sure it’s something she wants. You’ll probably get to that, but it usually is a bad idea to lead out with this sort of photo. Instead, make it an interesting photo that shows your face. This is perhaps the most frequent sext etiquette failure that we see.

2. If someone doesn’t respond, don’t keep messaging them. Leave well enough alone. You don’t know the reason they haven’t responded and assuming your suspicions are correct that they’re not into you, let it be. Not everyone has to be into you. It’s okay. Move along and find someone new. That will be a lot more fun.

3.Don’t get super aggressive if someone doesn’t respond. For example, “Whatever you b*tch, apparently I’m not good enough for you, screw you!” No one deserves to be spoken to that way and if she just hasn’t logged on in a while and would have talked to you when she got the message, guess who she’s not talking to now? You. It’s you.

4. Leave some things to the imagination. If you give them everything you’ve got right out the gate you’ve got nothing left for the grand finale, you know? Start off slow. Always with a photo of your face and a cute smile. Work up to showing more of your body as the conversation goes on. Ask the other person if they want to see your ‘no-no’ parts before you send startling photos of an angry purple worm… I mean Anaconda.

5. Social etiquette is still important. Obviously, we’re pushing social norms with sexting but social etiquette is still important. It’s really one and the same. Just as you wouldn’t be pushy and demanding with the grocery clerk, you definitely don’t want to be pushy or demanding in sexting. If you wouldn’t stop someone walking down the street and show them your nudes, don’t show your nudes to someone you just met online. It may be a virtual reality but it’s still a reality and people you sext message will never forget if you’re a jerk. So be nice.

6. Let the lady lead. Guys, this one will score you bonus points. Let her send the first naughty picture, or at least ask for yours. Let her tell you about her fantasies and wet dreams. Have her set the bar for the conversation. When she starts asking you about your fantasies, start off small, “I’ve never had anal sex and want to try it.” VS. “I’m into auto-erotic asphyxiation” One could get a “no” but the other is going to make them block you forever. Once you get her comfortable enough to tell you about her true fantasies you can take it from there. Put your feelers out and make sure you’re not going from zero to one hundred after you exchange your first hello.

7. Don’t write a book. Sext messages should be short and sweet, and sexy. Keep them short and to the point for the best overall effect. Nobody likes having to scroll down to read lengthy text so keep it shorter. Sext messaging should be a dialog rather than a monologue. There should be a flow of texts back and forth, like an evolving story where you each share and ask questions. Part of the fun is neither of you knows where it is going to go.

8. Don’t tell lies. Nobody likes being lied to, so don’t lie to your sext partner. Examples would be like when you’re married but say you’re single or when you never intend to meet them in person but say you will. Other lies would include misinformation about where you live, your job, living arrangement, etc. It is ok to keep some information to yourself, so just omit that part, but don’t fill it in with unnecessary lies.

9. Let them get to know the real you. Not everything right away of course but gradually pull back to curtain to let them know the real you. It works both ways too, so don’t reveal too much about yourself without receiving the same information. Tell them what you do for a living, some of your hobbies and interests and let them know the real you. The mood will become hotter. It’s easier to let loose when you don’t have reservations about one another. Get to know the other person for who they are. You’re being let in on their deepest darkest fantasies, so it’s only fair.

10. Keep it private. Don’t kiss and tell. It’s unbecoming. You’re likely to be sharing private fantasies and other personal, possibly sensitive, information. Trust and mutual respect is vitally important when sext messaging so be sure to keep this in mind when sharing sext messages. Don’t ever share someone else’s sext messages or photos without their express consent.

We hope you’ve enjoyed our sext etiquette tips for success. Go have fun with each other!